Paranoia

I told myself I would write more this year, and so far the desire is here but I have proven that I have nothing of much importance to write about! I definitely cannot write like I used to...but I keep telling myself no one is actually seeing this except my own eyes. So...I suppose it doesn't matter at all how well I can write or how entertaining my content is. (A huge relief, really.)

I am officially five days late for my period this month...which apparently is NO BIG DEAL since according to an amateur search online (yep, *guilty* I did that) my period can be affected by many factors such as stress, diet, weight loss, weight gain and of course PREGNANCY. So naturally, after having eliminated the possibility of being pregnant in my last post, I'm honing back in on this one factor exclusively because this is the kind of female I am. An obsessive-compulsive one.

I called Kaiser on Friday seeking answers for my pathetic condition. "I'm regular, my husband and I attempted to get pregnant last month, I haven't gotten my period this month but numerous pregnancy tests tell me I'm not pregnant. What does this mean?" They said they would call me after they sent my problem over to the right department. (I'm assuming OBGYN?) At the end of the day, I am telling myself that I am not pregnant and to go on living my non-prego life since this is probably the reality of my situation.

BUT!...Neurotic Dierdre has zero chill with this approach. I am now convinced that I have an underlying problem that needs to be uncovered to justify why I could not be pregnant this very moment...or at least menstruating this very moment. I mean...pregnancy is the only logical answer! I haven't been stressed at all, my diet has been pretty much the same as previous months and my weight has neither increased drastically nor decreased drastically. CJ and I getting frisky during my fertile window last month is THE only thing I can think of that is truly out of the ordinary. I hate that I am so obsessed with this right now because I really feel there are more pressing matters to be concerned about.

It's past midnight and coincidently past my bedtime. I hope I have an answer soon as to whether or not my body is still my own or if I'm secretly sharing it with someone else.


D