Simple Things

My routine this weekend took a turn for the spontaneous as I worked from home all day Saturday and went to breakfast with my boss and his family this morning, which was a pleasant surprise indeed. This whole time I was convinced the number 12 wasn't on the menu until my boss's 10 year old daughter pointed out on her kid's menu that it was in fact on 'a menu.' All this in saying, I love being spontaneous. Almost as much as I love my routine! I enjoy the thrill of doing something completely unplanned, as long as it fits within the pockets of my usual routine! Does that make sense? The funny thing is, although I was with different people, on a different day I still order the same thing. Some call me predictable. I just call it consistency.

I like to think I like change, but lately I've been doubting this. I like having things set to where I know they will work out and won't let me down. Like my pancakes that I order every Saturday, for example. They're absolutely delicious! Guaranteed every time. Why would I order anything else if they make me happy? I know they will always cost 6 bucks, and thats including tip! The practical side of me is totally nodding in agreement. Yes, it makes perfect sense! But then there's always the other half that says "Who cares about consistency. Live a little Dierdre!!!!!" Obviously I'm torn. I can't make up my mind. It's an every day gamble. It's a flipping of a coin. Someone told me once that there's a coin flipping app on our iphones. I should really get it. I'm slightly kidding, but mostly serious.

On a side note, this new tea I'm trying at this new café I'm at is seriously making it hard to get through one paragraph without having an overwhelming urge to pee. Is that tmi? Who cares, this is my blog, I can say whatever I want! Ayoooooooo!

Anyways. Lately I've been feeling somewhat restless which, let's be honest...isn't unusual. But even more than that, I've been feeling more lost than ever, not really sure what I should be doing with my life at this point. I know every one goes through these foggy valley's but I seriously have no idea what I'm supposed to do with my life. I look around at some of my peers (which is the first thing they tell you not to do) and I feel like they are so much more accomplished than I am. Setting aside my desires and setting aside my dreams, I can't deny that I have this overwhelming weight that I should be doing so much more with my life. I mean, let's just point out the obvious...I'm single. Not going to school. Working a full time job. And serving in church on Sundays. I mean...I'm content and comfortable...but I know the Lord is calling me to so much more than the comfort found within the American dream. Heck! I want more for myself than that. Anyone else battling with this? Here I go asking questions again. Honestly, I've considered just packing up my bags and moving to the east coast. Dramatic huh?

My point is...well. I guess I don't really have one. I'm lost...but not really. I know what I want and I know what I want to do...but I feel so small.

When I dream, I'm taking on the world. I'm in love with a loving man and I'm meeting with a broken girl as she pours her heart out about her broken life. I'm drinking coffee and writing a book. I'm holding my child. I'm laying on the floor laughing while getting my face licked by my dog. Simple things...simple things...simple things.


Maybe this is what the Lord has for me, or maybe it's something totally different. Maybe I won't ever find out...or maybe that's not the attitude to have. Maybe I just need to be patient and wait on the Lord.



I will wait,
Dierdre