Alone Time

I guess you could say things really haven't been going my way lately. I was laid off 2 weeks ago and the fact that I am blogging again must communicate to you how utterly bored and available I am. I've taken to reigniting my crocheting skills with numerous scarf projects, which is enjoyable don't get me wrong but I would rather be making a paycheck. The lack of financial security has been taking a toll on both CJ and I as he is still working at the high school, but nothing close to what we need to pay all of our bills. I'd give us three months of relying on his paycheck and our savings solely until we really start to feel the impact of my unemployment in it's entirety. I still haven't heard from EDD regarding my application for unemployment so hopefully that saves us sooner rather than later. The truth is I feel guilty about wanting a nice wedding now. I feel like we were just not meant to have a nice wedding and we were destined to be a courthouse couple. Obviously, I am just being dramatic and rationally speaking I have booked way to many vendors at this point to back out now. Photographer, florist, DJ...I mean, those are all nonrefundable deposits not to mention our photographer and DJ both have been paid in full already. We are looking easily at 7,000 dollars to cover everything else that we need. Officiant, our wedding bands, guest favors, the venue itself...they weren't kidding when they said weddings are expensive. The best part is, is that CJ and I get to paid for it all ourselves! Yay! So much fun! I'm not admitting to being stressed about wedding planning, because it's actually been quite fun! Honestly everything negative in my life right now all resorts back to finances. Money! Why is everything always about money? I have the urge to join the air force now as opposed to my original plan to join after I graduate in July of 2017. Our plan was for me to go in as an officer and for CJ to follow me (because he will be my husband by that point) and he would become a civilian teacher on whatever base we are stationed at. We would actually be making pretty good money considering both our incomes combine. I suppose all this jabber about the air force has reminded me that I still need to meet with a recruiter to discuss my options. I need to call them today. Lord knows I have enough time! *corny two thumbs up* Being unemployed sucks. It's really been breaking down my spirit and robbing me of my joy. I'm a generally serious and uptight individual as is, so this is saying a lot. I was going to make CJ some food and bring it to him during his lunch (a random 12:04pm lunch start time...schools are weird!) Bella loves to see her daddy at school so I'll bring her along for the ride. In light of everything, I really do enjoy staying home and cooking dinner and taking care of Bella during the day time, but knowing that it's at the expense of our income is not comforting. The dramatic side of me wants to say I've applied for everything under the sun, but the rational side of me says that the perfect job is still out there waiting. All I need is 21 months and then it's bootcamp for me. Hoorah! (wrong branch, but whatever.)