There was such an accumulation of moments but I can remember every single one like it happened yesterday. I guess being a journaler will do that to you, compacting life into a tiny flip book you can access at any given point in time.
On a more serious note though, I want to take the time to personally appreciate every single family that has taken me in this year, allowing me to sleep in their home and for a temporary time share life with them and their family. In light of Matthew 25:40, thank you for allowing yourselves to be used by God. I will always remember you for your Christlikeness and fulfilling the true definition of what Church means. (The Saldana Family, the Salute Family, the Stoltz Family, the Joseph Family, The Pearson Family and the Wegner Family.) Great are your rewards in heaven! Thank you!...thank you!...thank you!...thank you!...thank you!...thank you! Thank you everyone who invested and didn't give up on me.
There's so much to be thankful for ones' only response is dropping to their knees in worship. I love my life, I love the people who have come into my life (even the ones who are no longer) as well as the experiences I have been able to contribute to my testimony. It's feels like every year, I'm marking my height higher and higher. Growing up, although defying gravity, is similar to gravity being you can't stop it. This year I have obtained a good couple of inches...metaphorically speaking. If I could put an age on myself? I feel like I'm 25. Not too shabby, considering in reality I'm only 20. Life will do that to you sometimes.
I think the biggest..."growing pain" was definitely overcoming the most exhausting, heart wrenching and deceiving relationship I've ever been involved in. It's relationships like this one where it's impossible to walk away unchanged. Obviously for the better. For years, I thought he was the one. Write-my-name-with-his-last-name kind of thing. I would of never stopped fighting had I had known there was a chance for restoration. But we were young, disillusioned and misinformed. I will never forget the countless nights of heaving myself to sleep because I was so broken from loving him. I have never loved so passionately nor fought so stubbornly for someone else. Let's just call it a lesson learned. This relationship taught me that nothing finite is certain. Only that which is infinite can be certain, directing our gaze to the omnipotent God.. I pray that the next time I go to battle, it is solely for my husband. Love isn't a mere feeling, but a choice one makes daily. Assuming I marry someday, I know my husband will prayerfully go to war for me too. From what I've gathered to be the secret to every fruitful, Christlike relationship? Grace. I pray the Lord blesses me with one that eats, sleeps and breathes it.
I've got a long way to go, and I'm stoked on every moment coming my way. I know the Lord has no intentions of giving up on me...haha! No way. He's not done with us yet. He will finish what he's started! He will see us through till we are refined as pure gold standing before His throne.
Cheers to you friend, may 2012 allow you to experience and enjoy God in ways you never knew existed.
Dierdre
