It's hard to be supportive when your so different. When it's been a stressful day and all I want to do is drink a mimosa at 10pm topless in bed while he lays there sleeping. But of course this would be too easy. Because in all actuality, I left the light on and he can't sleep and I don't drink alcohol in the dark cause that's just depressing. I've gotta be honest, I've been a little selfish lately and it's been ugly. This is definitely not my good side, but we go through phases don't we? Some better than others. Mine, maybe more often than others. More than anything I just want to be able to walk around the house naked or in my underwear and not have to worry if his mom is going to be sitting on the couch, sulking, waiting for one of us to socialize her or invite her out on one of our dates. It's hard to see the positives in this when our date turns into an exclusive two way conversation about how the politics of education are horrible and how teaching "isn't what it used to be". Third-wheeling on my own date has never been so fun. So yeah, I've been a little on edge. Living with my mother in law isn't glamorous, nor is it ideal...at all. I miss having my own organized, and clutter free space where you can see the walls and feel clean. Ceej constantly reminds me how ungrateful and pessimistic I am about the whole living situation, never failing to make me feel unreasonable for being 25 years old and still living with a parental figure who calls every day asking about "what's for dinner?" There is not a day that goes by that I don't want to answer, "nothing is for dinner because we moved out last week, remember? Looks like your on your own!"
Seeing the ugly yet? I know, I know, it's bad. I never thought I'd become "that" wife where I'm reluctant to have the in-law over in the future. She really is a good, wholesome person...just codependent as hell without any hobbies.
But enough about that, anyway. I've still got a half glass of adult OJ left and I'm trying to see the glass half full. See what I did there? But seriously, life. How can I see it half full, because I truly am a glass half empty kind of girl. It's hard to appreciate the little things that bring most people joy, because when I focus on the little things I think about how irritating it is that I am always the one to replace the toilet paper roll.
In other news, the Air Force should be great for my OCD! I can't wait to see what dysfunction it causes in our marriage as Ceej already doesn't understand my compulsion with the bedsheets and how they need to lay perfectly aligned on all sides of the bed before I get in it, or how the coffee table needs to be perfectly aligned with the living room rug. I'm telling you, I can't make this stuff up! I really am losing it the older I get, and I have so many more years to go! Oh boy!
With a gulp or two remaining, I suppose I should send this pathetic, glass-half-empty, mother-in-law begrudger, compulsive complainer to bed. And yes, I made sure the bedsheets were all aligned before I left my lovers side and decided to drink alone. I would hardly call a mimosa a drink though, but that's besides the point.
