Ethan’s laying on the ground by the window sleeping soundly
like the baby brother he is. I can’t help but smile warmly at being able to
embrace this moment. He’s no longer a link I can click on and live vicariously
through old status updates. He’s going to wake up and I’ll know exactly what
he’s up to. What his life entails. His plans for the day. Hear his voice,
encounter his person. Does anyone else know what I’m talking about? I guess
when you go without for so long, you really appreciate everything.
All three of them sleep on the floor. It’s one of those things
that makes you smile at the simplicity of it. Everything in this home is an
expression of who my mom is. The whole inside of the house has been decorated
for Christmas. Nutcrackers, Christmas trees, stockings, lights, snow men,
reindeer, Santa’s…you get the idea. Candles have also been put out. I want to
light them, but it looks like their wicks are virgin. I would hate to be ‘that
guy’ who ruined their quality by lighting them. I
wish I could write about everything out in explosive detail but the morning
constricts me…and by morning I really mean ‘my lack of caffeine.’
I wish I had my cup of coffee but it was literally impossible
to find the sugar. At one point, I almost dumped rice in my coffee thinking it
was extremely coarse sugar. Can you blame me? Trying to make rational decisions without coffee in the morning is like pulling an all nighter and expected to run a marathon the same day – it’s a hopeless cause.
I’m sucking it up and I’m drinking my coffee without any
sugar. Let the record show, only truly desperate people do this. Good thing
there was milk to dilute it by 50%. Aside from good morning, it’ll probably be
the first question I’ll ask my mom when she wakes up. “Good morning Mom…uh where’s
the sugar?” It’s almost 9 and they’re still sleeping. I abhor how I’ve trained
my body to wake up naturally around seven when it completely goes to waste in a situation like this one.
Ethan was laying awake staring at the ceiling a couple of
minutes ago though. He’s clearly fighting the same battle I gave in to; the
battle to avoid waking up. I don’t blame him. Last night I dreamt I was being proposed to by an amazing man.
I distinctly remember looking at my ring and then looking up at him like a wide eyed child who had just seen a magic trick. He was proudly announcing our
engagement and held my hand. I remember thinking to myself…“he loves me…he
loves me!” Dreams are funny sometimes.
I’m not engaged, but betrothed in love and compassion forever.
{Hosea 2:19-20}
