Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Overthinking


As I reach for my ear plugs I can't help but wonder what I am sure of these days. I feel like my thoughts have decided to take on tornado like tendencies and more than anything I wish I could just stop thinking and allow my mind to shift into neutral. If only it were that easy...

My white mug sits empty on my night stand. I've already polished off my nightly cup of tea with honey. It's become a new habit; drinking tea at night. I couldn't imagine it being a good thing seeing as by the time I consume my last sip, I am way too relaxed to even consider getting up to brush my teeth! If my dentists asks?...you didn't hear that from me. I am very thankful for the tea though, it has been a nice contribution to helping me ease into bed at night. I just wish that when the box claims to be 'sleepy-time' tea...that it actually meant they spiked the dang stuff with meletonin and diphenhydramine combine! All this in saying...some people are sick of counting sheep, namely this girl.

I curse my restless soul on nights like this one. I never want to shy away from feeling what I'm feeling though. Maybe that's just the writer in me; wanting to feel and know every little emotion. More than anything I want to remain relative to people, and have the capacity to empathize with them. People are emotional. Don't ever believe the person who tells you otherwise. 

As much as I toss and turn in restlessness, I'd rather be this way than the opposite. I have to keep reminding myself that the ability to think is a gift from God. He made me restless for Him; caught up in His mystery. He keeps me uneasy. He keeps me thirsty. He keeps me moving forward. If it wasn't for emotional restlessness I wouldn't know my spiritual need for Peace and rest. It's all connected really. I was made to know Him. Nothing more.


"Our hearts will find no rest, until we find our rest in You." Joel Limpic
~Dierdre




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