I'm trying to think of the most authentic way to present this without coming off like I hate this holiday. And don't get me wrong, it's not because of the fact that I'm single or anything remotely related to my status. In fact, my frustration lies with the rest of this country, where thousands of singles and couples alike woke up this morning with one thing in common: expectation.
Having expectations isn't entirely bad...but only if your hope rests in them. I guess there's a fine line between desire and expectation. In any case, these expectations can flux between being as simple as expecting to be showered with gifts to anticipating complete emotional satisfaction from someone else. Before I go on any further, I'll come right out and say that this day legitimately used to be my favorite holiday a couple of years back. Yeaaa...slightly embarrassing. But of all people who could be writing about having suffered from romantic expectations, I believe I am completely qualified in this area...(also biased, but whatever.) I can recall the years where I spent this day in the pits of depression, bawling my eyes out because I had no pursuers yearning for an opportunity to share affection, sentimental gifts of flattery or words of affirmation towards me. Through many different circumstances, and by pure grace alone God has peeled back the blinding veil of what culture perceives as love and lays before me, Truth. I am set free because of it. So tonight I write in freedom from the bondage of expectation. More than anything I want it to be something that others can tangibly experience and step into as well, because it's so...what's the word I'm lookin' for....liberating. It really is.
Because Satan loves to toy with our weaknesses. He enjoys our slavery and our failure to know truth, and more then that? Satan loves to keep us from knowing Christ, one of his attributes being the author and pure definition of love. Because when we don't know what Christ has done on our behalf, having been the greatest act of love, our life is meaningless. Satan loves it. He loves us destitute for death. Ah, but when we know 1 John 4:8 and believe it...light bulbs go off in our heads!
God is love. Simple. Sweet. Almost cliché even...pretty sure they make bumper stickers with this smacked on it. What it should really say is "God is love! Regardless if I have a Valentine this year or not. Regardless if I'm single. Regardless if I don't feel loved. Regardless if ___________." (That might be a little much to put on a bumper sticker but you get the idea.)
Basically. This took me an embarrassing 4 days to write. Not because I don't have anything to say, but...mostly because I don't really know how to say it. All I know is that I have never been more content on Valentines day before in my 20 years of life...8 of which I cared. The Lord is so good to me. He has the capacity to love me in all the ways a man could ever. I read Psalm 139 and am reminded that he knows me beyond my own knowledge. I read chapter 53 of Isaiah and am reminded that by his wounds, not only are we healed but we are accepted by the Father. One of my favorite quotes comes from a Hillsong song where they put it like this - "Adopted as [His] own, alive to make [Him] known." Love that.
'Tomorrow is Tuesday. You will not catch me self-loathing over my singleness and associating my status with being unloved. God is love...period! I will be celebrating the love I have in Him today, tomorrow and for the rest of my life. Valentine's Day is everyday my friends. There is no greater love than the One who not only died for you, but was resurrected in love of you.'
Loved, Dierdre
